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UH OH!!!!!!!! [16 Mar 2005|06:49pm]

[ mood | This kids are tough ]

I'm going to take a break from the usually to post a few pictures of some of the kids who wanted to fight...

Anthony Hackett
...hes looks pretty tough.

he's turning 8 in a month

I don't even know if there was a kid name Matt, but he looks pretty queer.

This kid is showing all authority/govermental officals that he's not gonna listen to them with his rebelious middle finger.


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[06 Mar 2005|06:57pm]

Masturbation usually occurs between the ages of twelve and eighteen, although some continue past the age of ninety-three. You may not realize the dangers of masturbation. Often a rash severe rash will develop around the outer skin of the penis delpisto which in extreme cases might call for amputation. Also, stridopsis of the papuntasistula gland may develop, or in lay terms, you might find yourself with a big red prick. No one wants this to happen. But it will occur unless immediate help is obtained. We (at the Society for the Prevention of Masturbation) are equipped with special water-tested machines and our staff of trained nurses are always ready to pitch in and lend a willing hand when needed.
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Runny Nose Chorus of Shame. [06 Mar 2005|05:59pm]

[ mood | DaleCroft is for Whales ]

Today I was walking down my street, Greencroft. All of a Sudden a black man in a Scuba suit pulled up to me in a Green Volvo. I yelled "Only Fags drive Green Volvos" and he said " I'm not a fag!" and he re-painted his Volvo, vermillion. Vermillion was a bold and rather daring new color, unlike Green which is ironicly the color for Deancroft, Greencrofts color is Dean. I was like " Why'd you paint it Vermillion ass clown, all out of Green DEANCROFT paint." he responded " I painted it Vermillion because I'm from DALECROFT!!!


I should have known. Using my wit, charm, and ability to think of my feet I yelled " More Like DALE-SUCK-CROFT-MC-DUMB-STREET!" He got super offended because he works at Orbitz. He was like " You better take that back, or I'll smoke your samon" and I said "No one talks about smoking my samon and gets away with it" So I ran up to him and gave him a nice pair of Arabian Goggle,then I dropkicked him, flipped him backwords, pre-heated my oven, slide-tackled him, watched TV, got a strawberry shortcake, gave him a reverse cowgirl steamer, finished off by a nice strawberry shortcake with sprinkles on top.

Afterwards I drank some Merlot. Maddox jumped out of the bushes and said " How come some people only drink Merlot after they see the movie SideWays and other people drink Perto Dioganel after seeing the movie Horziontal." Maddox must be from Dalecroft.


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[26 Feb 2005|03:34pm]

I can't believe what just happened. My sister, Mary Johnson, was building a toothpick bridge when Charlie Chaplomen came up and knocked it over. Of Course, everyone knows Charlie Chaplomen is from DeanCroft. My sister then pointed out that there are two kinds of people in this world; those who can count, and those who can't, and those who ride motorcycles. What a oppurtunity. How many of the women here know how to cook scrambled Goose? 17 most likely.
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Foo-Ton [23 Feb 2005|08:22pm]

U know Foo-ton (not sure how to spell that) well, it sounds like a kind of chinese food but OH WAIT! It;s actually a mat that u sleep on, who knew, anyway, Koo-ton should be a Chinese food, and i think we should reflect on how messed up the English language is....KOO-TON!
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terrell keeps mocking me [18 Feb 2005|11:35pm]

[ mood | terrell hit me ]

terrell keeps mocking my pseudo-intellectual property theft scam. of course hes from deancroft, and i, Theodore Willinsworthington the 3 (Ted Williams +Hooreworting the 5-3=2 for short) is from greencroft. i am outraged and appalled. also, if i catch ricky pissing on my yard, body slamming my dog, parachuting through my window, skinning my potatoes, sweeping my bathroom, or eating out my wife again, i swear i will right an indignant email to deancroft telling them they can suck my ball.s thats right my ball.s it wasnt a typo

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[05 Feb 2005|07:50pm]

[ mood | Who Touched My BENIS ]

Hello Comrades.

I am new to your glorious community but I have been fighting this war for years. Me and my friend Jimmy Jewitiz once were on a mystic journey into the northern deancroft province of Tamreil. When we were there we encountered an old man who proceeded to show me his penis yelling " this is what won the second world war". I leaped out of the way, and he was charging at me with his erect penis. This caused me to do lots of drugs. This is what drugs I like doing.

I take a 1/4 pound of pot and powder it up then I add 40 oz of vodka shake it and add 50 ccs of Heroin. I put this all in a sirigen and inject it into my anus.

This gives me a buzz, but to get real high I enjoy going swimming in my pool of cocaine. Then Im really high.

Anyways Im commander Dulsodorf and my hobbies include tenis. I love tenis so much. Have you ever ponder upon the fact that if the t in tenis was replaced with a b it would read Benis. Benis eh? Like the legendary 67382 pound steelers running back. Or should i say STUPIDback. No I should probably only say running back. Benis is the only example of making something funny out of the word tenis. One couldnt possibly add a p. That would make it so ridicoulsly unfunny.

My elephant can dance. In fact it dances the night away. One time I was trying to sleep and a elephant danced and it was MORNING. Can you believe that? I didnt get any sleep. What crap.

-Commander Dulsodorf

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Battle of Crazy Horse Tree [04 Feb 2005|07:43pm]

[ mood | Awkward ]

This battle was completly irrelevant. Some guy on Deancroft was taking his dog for a walk. The dog took a shit on LaBradrod Johnson's yard, a resident of Greencroft. LaBradford was like "Yo, i am black, therefore i talk like dis. yo better get yo dawg of my yard g" and the white guy was like "how come black people say 'yo' and white people say 'cobalt'". THen all hell broke loose. the rebels of deancroft launched an attack against deancroft using bazookas and machine guns. however, a counter attack under the great general Jesus Mohommad launched back a series of underground attacks using ground hogs. the gound hogs caused devestating results. the deancroft area was devestated. there was holes in everybody's garden. it was the sickest thing Ted Bundy had ever seen. He had to say about the event "where are my pants". Then he condensed into a gas

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[04 Feb 2005|07:38pm]

The Great Battle Hym blarred for the trumpets of the marching Greencroft Battlion G-47. They clashed on the outskirts of mailbox 42 with several divisions of Deancroft rebels. The President remarked on the bloody battle today with this statement

"I fully recognize a personal retirement account is not the only thing needed ... to solve Social Security permanently," Bush told an audience of about 7,000 in Deancroft Convention Hall.

As you can see he is outraged and hoping for a peacfull outcome. More like ZoutCome.
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